i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize