Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
