So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
