don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Randomize
