I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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