I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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