do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
