What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
