ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
