cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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