But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
