put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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