life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize