if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
