i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
please come you make the beer taste better
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
