I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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