My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
