Buhtt sex?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize