hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
