i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
