Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
foreskin is a definite game changer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
