it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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