And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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