Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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