we made out on top of his cat.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
