Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
