His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
