SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize