dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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