Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
