I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
