Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize