also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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