Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
