Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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