I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
