So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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