i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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