Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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