I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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