i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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