what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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