My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Alive.
So much puke
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
