just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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