So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
