its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
