dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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