she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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