i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
