Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
