Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
