I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
