I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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