we have pet lesbian snakes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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