no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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