After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
