just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
