i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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