fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
