She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.