so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...