Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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