he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
