Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
