If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
