She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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