yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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