ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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